


You’re Not Mine

by Chelsea072498



Category: SPN, Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Some Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 18:49:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14879270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chelsea072498/pseuds/Chelsea072498
Summary: Dean makes a drunken confession to the reader.





	You’re Not Mine

**You’re Not Mine**

Dean is home early. Much earlier than you thought he would be. You weren’t expecting him until the morning. Sam is out of town and you planned to rearrange your room since neither would be home to give you grief.

“Dean?” You see him watching you. “You okay?”

He shrugs. “I got into a fight with Rachelle.”

Rachelle. He’d met her one night in town. She worked for a hair salon, was divorced with a kid. Nice girl. You liked her.

You also hated her.

She and Dean had been seeing each other for months.

“I’m sorry, Sweetie.” You tell him sympathetically. You may have feelings for Dean, but that doesn’t mean you really want his relationship to fail. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Dean shakes his head. “I have to figure this out, (Y/N). I, uh, I like her. She’s a nice girl, cute kid. I just…it’s not there. I kind of made that obvious tonight.”

You walk to him and give him a hug. “You know where I am if you need me.”

“Yeah,” He smiles at you. You see something in the smile you don’t understand. “Thanks, (Y/N/N).”

“Anytime, Babe.” You watch him walk away and follow him. Dean is going to drink. He’s going to get angry at himself. You don’t know what he said to Rachelle. That’s not important. You just know Dean is his own worst enemy.”

“Mind if I join you?” You smile at him when he walks out of the kitchen with beers.

He hands you one. “Probably not the best idea but I…I want you around.”

You follow him to the library. Dean drinks in the library a lot. It’s not uncommon to find him with a drink and a book in the middle of the night. Sam teases his brother.  You find it sexy.

Dean grabs a couple of books and sits at the table. “You read anything good lately?”

You think for a second. “I read an old spell book last night. It was from my grandma’s trunk.” Your grandmother had been a Wiccan. And her father a hunter. “It was more of a what not to do.”

“Really?” Dean is interested. “Anything we could use later?”

“Yeah, I let Sam take it. He was looking over some of it with me.”

Dean nods. “You’re really good with the research, (Y/N).”

“Thanks, but I learned from you.” You tell him. “Bobby taught me the hunting part. You are responsible for me knowing which books to start with.” You smile at him. “You’re one of the smartest people I know, Dean. You also make me feel smart.”

“You are smart. You don’t need me for that.” He says. You’re sitting on the table still. He moves his chair in front of you. “You are so much more than you give yourself credit for.”

“And so are you.” You look at him. “Dean, you’re amazing.”

“Stop.” He looks away and takes a long sip of whiskey. From the bottle.

“Dean?”

“(Y/N), don’t.” He looks into your (Y/E/C) eyes. “Damn it.” He grabs his whiskey and takes another long sip. You realize he’s finished the bottle.

“Sweetie?”

He opens a beer. “Why are you home on a Friday night?” He asks.

You laugh. “I’m always home on Friday night. Unless we’re on a case.”

“You could have any guy you want. You’re here and you’re…”

You shake your head. “I can’t have the man I want. It just won’t work.”

Dean takes a sip of his beer. “Why not?”

“He doesn’t see me the way I see him.” You’ve had just a little to drink. Not enough to confess your feelings.

You hope.

Dean stands up suddenly. “If he doesn’t see how amazing you are, he’s a fucking idiot who doesn’t deserve you.”

“Dean?” His hands are on your knees, his lips close to yours.

“You’re so damn good.” He says. “So fucking perfect.” his lips found your neck. You freeze. “Damn it,” he moves away. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, (Y/N/N).”

“It’s okay,” You tell him. He starts pacing. You move from the table and grab his hands. “Dean, it’s okay. You’ve had a rough night, a few drinks….”

He looks at you. “Damn it, (Y/N). I swore I’d never do this. I have Rachelle. Maybe. I tried to fall in love with her. I thought maybe I’d forget about….” He stops.

“Forget about what? Or who?” You look at him. “Dean? Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”

“I haven’t been able to sleep with Rachelle in weeks. I’ve never enjoyed it. I mean, I’ve gotten off but I’ve been thinking of someone else.”

You wonder if maybe you shouldn’t have offered to be the listener this time. “Dean…”

“I stopped. I just managed to find ways for it to not happen.” He took a deep breath. “I got there tonight and her neighbor is watching the kid. She’s in this tight dress and I know what she’s thinking. It’s been two weeks since we saw each other. I tried but I couldn't….I started thinking about….I was hard. I was so fucking hard. I opened my mouth and said…” He looks at you. “I’m sorry. This isn’t…”

“Dean?”

“I shouldn’t be telling you this.”

“Dean, you can tell me anything.” You know he’s upset. You don’t want to hear this, but if it’ll help him, you will.

“I can’t tell you.” He says. “It’s bad enough I hurt her…”

“Babe, it’s me. You can tell me anything.”

Dean looks into your eyes. “I opened my mouth and I said ‘I love you, (Y/N).’  I was thinking about you.”

You take a step back. “Dean?”

He closes his eyes. “I get it.” He grabs the bottle of whiskey he just opened. “You’re too fucking good for me.”

“No, I’m not.” You tell him.

“You are!” He screams. “Damn it, I’m in love with you! I fucking tried to have a relationship with someone in town so that I wouldn’t have to deal with your rejection.”

“My rejection?!” You ask. “Dean, why didn’t you ever tell me?! I…”

“You don’t think of me that way. I get it! I understand.”

You shake your head. “Dean, I do! I always have!”

He stops and looks at you. “What did you say?”

“I love you.” You are crying. “I’ve been in love with you for a really long time.”

Dean shakes his head. “Don’t tell me this.”

“Why not?” You ask. “I love you. You…do you really love me?”

He stops his pacing and looks at you. Two second later, his lips are on yours. His hands are so calloused, but gently. He pulls away for only a second.

“I am so in love with you that I can’t see straight.” Dean whispers. “I hate myself. I’m not fucking good enough for you.” he squeezes his eyes shut. “I’ve got….her….”

“If you weren’t with her,” you start to ask, shaking. “Would you be mine?”

Dean smiles one of his beautiful smiles. “Would you want that?”

You nod enthusiastically. “Yes. I’ve wanted this for so long, Dean. I love you.”

“I’ll do it. I’ll end things.” Dean promises. He kisses you. “(Y/N), I love you.”

You allow the kiss to deepen, but stop it before things get carried away. “We can't….not yet.”

“What?”

“You owe it to yourself and Rachelle to end things before we….” You kiss him softly. “I love you, but I won’t be the other woman. If you want to start this with me, you have to end things with her.”

Dean thinks for a moment and agrees. “You’re right. I think that’s a really great idea.” He smiles. “I’m all yours though. My heart, my mind, my body…”

“You’re not mine.” You tell him. “Not yet. You need to end things with Rachelle first. For all our sakes. If we’re out in town and run into her…”

“I know,” Dean shakes his head. “I just….finally said the fucking words and you love me too…”

You smile. “I’ll still love you tomorrow morning, Dean.”

“(Y/N),” He pulls you into his arms. “Can we at least…” His phone started ringing. “Damn it.”

You know the ringer. “I’ll be in my room.” you kiss his cheek and give him privacy.

“Hello?” You hear him say, but you aren’t going to stick around. You know this could be a dream. You know that he’s not yours. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

You go into your room and grab the remote. You’re too keyed up to be in your room. You want to with Dean, but you know that you may not be able to control yourself. He loves you. Dean loves you.

He’s not yours.

The next day, he leaves before sunrise. When he returns, you greet him with a smile. He announces, without looking at you, that he and Rachelle are through. You know then that things weren’t what you thought.

“I’ll be in my room.” You say, rushing away, hoping you’ll escape before the tears fall.

Dean watches. He pulls out his cell phone and tears fill his eyes when he reads the message from Sam he’d gotten in the middle of the night.

_Thanks for looking out for (Y/N) while I’m gone. I’ve decided to tell her I’m in love with her when I get back. Maybe you and Rachelle can double date with us._


End file.
